In less than one hundred days I will be turning 50 years old. In the days leading up to the beginning of the one hundred day period I began reflecting on my life and thoughts of my childhood flooded into my mind. I remembered my mother and the life she lived. You see, my mother was a stay at home mother, who worked daily to make her home a warm and secure place for me. She was not a single mom; she was married to my dad. My dad, however, was not the doting type of husband. He was very authoritarian. This created a bondage of which I am sure many women can identify.
What I marvel at are the differences between our two lives. Though she never went many places, except for the functional ones, i.e., grocery stores, dad doctor's appointments and the occasional department store, my life operates quite the opposite. I am gone ninty percent of the time. While she only had a ninth grade education, she encouraged me to study hard and go to college. As she said, "Study hard so you can get a sit down job, like the white folks." As one who once worked in the homes of white folk in the late 50's and early 60's this was her dream. I went to college and graduated.
She became ill my junior year in college. Another dream of hers was to live long enough to see all of her children grown and on their own. (I was the youngest and only child from the union with my dad.) And so she did. I married shortly after college graduation, moved away and had children of my own. Three short years after I married she died.
As I reminesce, I realize that had it not been for the life she experienced I could not truly appreciate my life now. I have a wonderful husband, who supports me in every endeavor...and there have been many. He also trust me. I come and go as I please. My choice is not to abuse his trust or love. I try new things. I am enjoying my life. As I work towards my masters degree and am out late most evenings, spending a great deal of time tired, and rarely cooking. I realize I am living a life that my mother would have appreciated. It is the life she wanted for me. A life of meaning and purpose. (And yes, my job requires that I sit down.)
