Today I turned 51 years old. In a years time I have become more reflective on my life and the steps I have taken. While I cannot say I have a great deal of regrets, I can say that I have learned more about myself this year than I would have thought.
I have learned the importance of standing your ground when the results will lead to something positive. Everyone does not have to agree with your stand or support you in it. There are two important attributes of learning to stand, especially if you must stand solo. One, just because everyone agrees with you does not mean that they are right. By the same token, just because everyone disagrees with you does not mean that you are wrong. Two, whatever the cause of your stand you must be willing to accept the consequences; whatever they may be, good or bad.
I have learned that it is difficult to change latent bad habits and that these habits will fight you each step of the way as you strive to become different. I have a habit of starting a project with gusto, but loosing the gusto somewhere near the three-quarter completion mark. While this is not a habit to boost about, it seemed to be ok to do this with craft projects or other things which were for personal enjoyment. However, when this habit affects major life decisions it's lackadasically attributes are no longer benign. I am on a course of completion of something very big. And to say I am tired would be an understatement. I can say though, when I realized that this habit was trying to rear its face I also understood that I now had to stare it down. My course will be complete in a few months, and for once I will not be the one who couldn't take the stare and had to look away.
I have learned that sometimes the only way you know more about what you can do, is to be put in the position of sink or swim. By nature, I am not a swimmer. But I can say, without shame, that when the situation arose I learned how to thread water and stay afloat with energy to spare. Now that was both terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time!
I have learned more, but I will share more at a later time. I guess the overall lesson is that it is important to always be willing to learn, because in doing so you will also grow as a person.
